Taproot Wizards – Is the dreaded moment upon us?
Today I decided to “write” my seventh article on Taproot Wizards, but first, if you wanted to read my previous scribbles then please click on the below links:
Learn like a Wizard and cast a spell on complacency
Taproot Wizards have diamond hands
Taproot Wizards – My top 10 Favourite Showers
Taproot Wizards – A thank you to mavensbot
Taproot Wizards – What if it really happened to you?
Once upon a blockchain, in the mystical lands of Bitcoin, there was a cryptic tale of Taproot Wizards – a noble, ragtag band of heroes determined to Make Bitcoin Great Again. The wizards had a calling, a higher purpose, and a peculiar mission that began with one unusual command: “Jump into the shower.”
The First Ignored Call
But alas, when the call to cleanse one’s digital soul echoed across the Bitcoin realms, many scoffed. “Shower? Is this some Web2 nonsense?” they muttered as they continued hoarding meme tokens and floor-sweeping JPEGs. They turned away, smirking, while a brave few stepped into the Quantum Cat’s labyrinthine quests, solving riddles and shouting from the rooftops about the magic of OP_CAT, a misunderstood spell that held the key to true wizardry.
Meanwhile, the skeptical masses stood by, scrolling through influencer tweets, never bothering to ask, “Why OP_CAT?” or “What’s so special about these wizards?” Instead, they chuckled at the sight of grown wizards enduring ridicule from their families – wives shaking their heads, kids rolling their eyes, and great aunties tsk-tsking at family dinners. “What’s the point of all this nonsense?” they asked. But the wizards endured, clutching their staffs of persistence and chanting their mantra: “It’s not for us; it’s for Bitcoin!”
The Sale That Wasn’t
Years later, the fabled Taproot Wizard Sale was announced, and the same skeptics perked up. “Oh, this is the moment! I knew this was a cash grab!” they proclaimed, opening their wallets and firing up their FOMO engines. Yet, as the sale drew near, they realized the hard truth: they weren’t eligible. They had never jumped into the shower, never tangled themselves with Quantum Cats, and never carried the torch of OP_CAT advocacy. The doors to wizardry slammed shut, leaving them standing outside, bewildered and bitter.
And so, the FUD began.
“Taproot Wizards are a scam!”
“The team is incompetent!”
“Bitcoin doesn’t need wizards anyway!”
They stomped and tweeted, but deep down, a pang of regret gnawed at them. The regret wasn’t about the wizards; it was about the effort they’d never made.
The Grand Reveal
But here’s the twist – the plot-twistiest twist in all of Bitcoin lore. Little did the FUDders know, none of the wizards ever wanted to be owned in the first place. The quests, the ridicule, the endless debates about OP_CAT? It wasn’t for personal gain. The wizards had been on a sacrificial mission to protect the world from the horrors of owning these digital creatures.
These selfless wizards threw themselves into the fire to shield humanity from the burden of wizardry. One by one, as their quests concluded, they vanished, their silly hats disappearing into the ether. Their final resting place? The legendary Satoshi Wallet, where every last wizard could finally slumber in peace, forever unclaimed and unowned.
The Legacy
One day, when the Bitcoin network is ancient history, people will look back and say:
“Those wizards… they saved us from ourselves.”
And in the distant future, when great aunties recount the tale, they’ll end with a wink:
“Be grateful, children. Thanks to the wizards, we’re free. Also, remember to shower.”
And so, the Taproot Wizards faded into legend – not as a missed opportunity, but as unsung heroes who endured shame, ridicule, and quests so that others wouldn’t have to.
To all the wizards and Bitcoiners, keep learning.
Best Wishes, Wizard.
